Subspace Rising
by TRUE Unknown
Summary: The return! Formerly Delfino MAYHEM!, it's time to bring it back up to speed! New characters and enemies are making their move! But first, reunite back at Smash Mansion! Ch. 6 is up! SamusXNess, more pairings to come! R and R, please!
1. Arriving, CheepCheeps, in a little of th...

Delfino Mayhem!!

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: We all know about the "I don't own Smash Bros. Melee",  and the "Nor do I own Mario Sunshine or Yu-Gi-Oh!"; and so... get outta here!

--

This is the long awaited sequel to "Revenge Union"! (I suggest you read up on it to understand the storyline), and the Smashers are heading off to Isle Delfino, hopefully, to relax, and the such...

But what some may find relaxing, others may find this perfect... for **REVENGE!!**

So let's get on with it...

^.^

--

(KFC Prison. This is where chickens and other fowl go before they are graded, and sentenced to be $4.99 in a Chicken Twister Combo, for example. An explosion occurs. Falco is being chased by two guards. So this is what Colonel Sanders has been hiding all these years.)

One guy: Stop him!! Don't let him get away!!

Another guy: Stop yelling, dammit! I'm right next to you.

Falco:  You won't take me alive, bird-mongers! (Falco fires his blaster to stun the two men chasing him) Now, I have to get out of this place...

A Chicken: (whispering) Hey, F-Falco. (Falco takes notice) They confiscated your Arwing, and its in t-the main lot.

Falco: (smiling) Thanks, Chicken.

A Chicken: Don't forget our p-promise, Lombardi!

Falco: Right! I get my Arwing; I set the others free!

A Chicken: Damn straight! I'll buy some--(gets shot by a guy) B-BAWK!!!

Falco: (dramatic music playing in the background) CHICKEN!!!

One guy: Alright! He'll be 'Popcorn Chicken'!  (gets shot in the head) Ow...

(Falco heads toward the main lot, and he gets his Arwing back. [Why take his Arwing in the first place? I don't know] Once in the air, he destroys the KFC Prison, and all the other chickens charge out of there)

Falco: (to himself) There... it's done... if only Chicken were here to see this.

A Chicken: (loud as day) I'M NOT D-DEAD, DUMBASS!!

Falco: (avenging tone) Bowser, Ness, and Nana, when I find you, you'll prepare to die. (flies off into the night)

--

(The ruins of KaibaCorp in Domino City. It appears that Luigi is having problems trying to talk some peace with CEO Seto Kaiba.)

Luigi: Look, I was-a attacked by an airship, and it was not-a my fault that I destroyed your company!

Seto Kaiba: Frankly, I don't care. You destroyed my company, it will take millions to repair the damage, and that means that me, and my little brother will be poor once again. (smiling evilly) But at least, the only thing I can have, is a little revenge. (snaps fingers)

(from the ashes rise one of the Yu-Gi-Oh!'s most powerful cards: the Blue Eyes White Dragon. On it was Seto's little brother, Mokuba. It looks like it is ready to fire.)

Luigi: (panicking) WHAT-A THE FUCK!? I THOUGHT--

Seto: You think too much.

Mokuba: BLAST HIM!

(The BEWD breathes out raw energy that sends Luigi flying) 

Luigi: (screaming) NOT AGAIN!!! (ding)

Seto: Who says it's over? AFTER HIM! (The BEWD and Mokuba start to take off) HEY! Don't forget me! (jumps onto the taking-off dragon)

--

(A hyper-speed jet plane is going along nicely and heading to the nice and tropical Island Delfino. The Smashers are making themselves comfortable and letting the slowly ticking minutes pass by as they talk and play games)

Fox: (to himself) When I see Sonic, he, along with those other three idiots, will suffer... 

Link: What are you bitching at? Me and Zelda were almost torn apart by ReDeads!

Mr. Game and Watch: BEEP beep beep beep BEEP!! [I almost spontaneously combusted here!!]

Peach: That's bloody nonsense! I was crapping for hours on end because of Ex-Lax Brownies!!

Ganondorf: I was trapped in a room of Teletubbies memorabilia!! And the emotional scars still won't heal! (starts crying)  
  
Mewtwo: **We** were trapped in a net! (Pikachu and Jigglypuff agree)

Pichu: Pi! Pi chu pi pi!! [I was scared by a chainsaw and hockey mask]

Marth: Humiliated in front of hundreds of people!

Young Link: I was attacked by Ness and Starman because I thought that Paula chick was single!

Mario: (You can easily tell that he is pissed at everyone, not just Sonic, Bowser, and so forth) I HATE YOU ALL!!!

DK: Exploding in a closet, anyone!? Huh!?

Kirby: Well, I'm just fine. (happy smile)

(A bing sound silences everyone, then the captain starts to speak through an intercom)

Captain: We welcome you all to Isle Delfino! We would like you to observe the brochures and gaze at the lovely sites at our wonderful, dolphin-shaped island! We range from a four-star hotel, to the trade center that is Ricco Harbor, and even an amusement park! Here, you can dine on classy, traditional dishes honored by our Pianta ancestors, tasty tropical fruits, and succulent seafood!

Kirby: Oh YEAH!! I am so there!!

Captain: Thank you for flying Pianta Air, and we hope you enjoy Isle Delfino! (end announcement)

Falcon: WOW!! I can't believe we'll be in the mainland!

Ness: (cocking eyebrow) You're happy about that?

Falcon: Too true!

Everyone: Idiot...

(Time passes, and the plane lands at the main commercial landing pad: Delfino Airstrip.)

Boat attendant: If you will wait for 5 minutes, then the boat will take everyone to the Delfino Plaza!

Falcon: (surprised) 5 MINUTES!? I came here to relax, and you're expecting me to waste 5 of those minutes on a shitty boat!? And waste even another maybe **hour** or so just to go to the Plaza!? (points to everyone) To hell with all of you guys! I'm SWIMMING!!

Boat Attendant: I strongly, strongly advise against that, for there are swarms of Cheep-Cheep down there! (Falcon is clueless) Ahem, they'll drag you down to your watery death.

Falcon: Go on without me, guys! (takes clothes off to reveal a, um, revealing Speedo)

Everyone: GAH!!!

Falcon: I'm heading to the Sirena Beach Hotel! (dives in, but...) OH GOD!!! Cheep-Cheeps are trying to--(gets pulled underwater)

Game ad Watch: (looking into the water) Beep beep beeeeeep... [I don't think he's coming back]

Bowser: Shit for brains!

Boat attendant: All aboard!

(The Smashers, minus Falcon, get into the boat and are off to the Plaza)

--

(In the air...)

Luigi: (You guessed it, screaming) HELP ME!!!!! (crashes onto ground) Ow... That's the last-a time I mess with any-a Duelists! So GOD save me!!

Person: Then, my friend, you are so screwed!

(Luigi looks up to see a man in brown shorts, black vest with gold buttons all over it, blue shirt, short blond hair with spiky bangs, a little beard going, an America bandana on his head, and black slick sunglasses. This guy is from Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Luigi: (jumps back some-number feet) GAH!!! Who are-a you?

Person: The name's Keith Howard. But, you can call me Bandit Keith! (angry glare) You got that?

Luigi: Oh yes... say, where am I?

Bandit Keith: **WE** are on the Island Delfino. You see, when I was all washed up, back at Duelist Kingdom, (Aside) may Pegasus burn forever, (back to Luigi) I awoke at this island. The Piantas here are sooo nice here, considering they look _freaky_ and all, and are also suckers anyway...

Luigi: ... You con-a people?

Bandit Keith: (hands behind head) Only when the officials don't look... You have that look that says, "I want to kill some people", right?

Luigi: How did you-a know?

Bandit Keith: Why don't we make a deal, shall we? (starts whispering some evil stuff into Luigi's ears)

--

(The coast of Sirena Beach; Falcon survived the tedious, the hazardous, and the Cheep-Cheep-ious swim, and is now making his way into the hotel) 

Falcon: (tired and struggling) Well, it took me two hours of swimming... But I made to the hotel... and with no other footprints around, not even that sexy Samus or Zelda or Peach, I'M THE FIRST ONE HERE!! I ROCK Ω ASS!!! (gets into the hotel; a Pianta attendant reaches over to the exhausted Falcon)

Attendant: Are you okay, sir?

Falcon: Do you... have any reservations for... people under the name "Super Smash Brothers"?

Attendant: Is your name on the list?

Falcon: Douglas Jay Falcon...

Attendant: (checks list) Your room is on the second floor, third door to the left.

Falcon: Thank you... good sir... (faints from exhaustion)

--

(At the main Delfino area [Delfino Plaza], the Smashers look around the area before they try to find the way to the Sirena Beach Hotel)

Fox: Hey guys!! How do we get to the Hotel?

Marth: There should be a way... let me ask someone... (walks off)

Ganondorf: (disgusted) This place is too happy and sunny... (smiling evilly) It's time for some ravaging of happy PLACE!!!

Ness: No.

DK: Hey! Look! Mario thinks he found something!

Peach: Mario! Where are you going? (worried) I don't want you to get hurt!

Mewtwo: What are you, his nanny?

Mario: I remember-a now! (points to some walls) We wall-a jump up, then you jump on the roof, until you-a reach the red pipe! (sounds like a Strategy Guide) And that's how you reach-a Sirena Beach!

Roy: Cool! Then-- oh wait a minute... only a select few of us can wall jump! Like you Mario, Samus, Falcon [who is missing], Fox, Falco [who is also missing], Link [seven years ago], and Pichu!

Pikachu: Pi ka... CHU pi pi! [If we can improvise... UP+B moves!]

(Mario, Samus, Fox, Young Link, and Pichu all wall jump up; the others use their double jumps and UP+B moves to get through. Then they roof jump all the way to the red pipe.)

Mario: So long, suckers!! (jumps in)

Peach: Wait up! (jumps after him; Zelda and Samus come in;)

Fox: These things look kinda tight! (Mewtwo psychically pushes him in) HEY!! (the Ice Climbers climb ahead of Mewtwo)

Mewtwo: Why you stupid little fucks! The most intellectual ones should go first!! (Pikachu, Pichu, and Jigglypuff charge ahead) That's it! (jumps in) PSYCHIC ATTACK!!

Ganondorf: But I want to ravage!! (gets suplexed in by Kirby) WHOA!

Kirby: Woohoo! (jumps in)

Bowser: Okay, this ought to be a challenge, considering the small pipe, and my, um, grand body... (The only ones left are him and Ness; Mr. G&W, Roy, Marth, Link and Young Link already went in) Here I go! (jumps in; gets stuck in pipe) Oh boy. This is gonna be interesting.

Ness: C'mon! (stomping on Bowser's head) Get, THROUGH!! (Bowser goes through) And now to-- (hears something that sounds like a hurled Yoshi) What the? (looks up, sees Yoshi falling at great speeds at Ness; both fall into the pipe)

--

Well well... we'll just have to see how this plays out:

The Kaiba Bros. in hot pursuit against Luigi, who is collaborating with Bandit Keith, and Falcon makes it to Sirena Beach before the Smashers do. 

What will happen?


	2. Sirena Beach, Boat Lunacy, NessSamus cru...

Delfino Mayhem!!

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: We all know about the "I don't own Smash Bros. Melee",  and the "Nor do I own Mario Sunshine or Yu-Gi-Oh!"; and so... get outta here!

--

Where were we?

Grand Master Shoma: I do believe the others were about to land in Sirena Beach.

... Shut up.

--

(At Sirena Beach, it's your typical setting: Bubbly with the sunset, torches lit, fountains trickling and the beach calm. Until people fall to the ground _very_ fast! The Smashers are basically groaning on the ground because of unsuspecting pain...)

Ness: Crap, man! That last step is a doozy.

Samus: Tell me about it.

Pikachu: Pi ka... [My spinal cord...]

Yoshi: Yosh... [And how.]

Bowser: (laying on back, and Mario) Um, can someone help me up here?

Mario: (wowed) Hm, I didn't-a know you cared about me.

Bowser: Are you fucking nuts!? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TURTLES **DIE** IF THEY STAY ON THEIR BACKS! (Mewtwo helps him up) Thanks.

Jigglypuff: Puff jiggly jigg? [Where's the hotel?]

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep beep 'meep' beep... [Maybe the building that has 'hotel' on it]

Fox: (laughing) Ha ha ha, Jigglypuff, you suck.

Marth: Hey, where's Donkey Kong?

(Cue to Donkey Kong falling next to everyone)

Roy: Oh, there you are.

Popo: Feeling fine?

DK: *ape grunt* (realizes that he didn't speak) *panicking crazy monkey sound*

Fox: (laughing) Ha ha ha, DK, you suck.

Kirby: Ape lost his voice.

Ganondorf: Good, I never liked it!

(Cue to an Arwing pushing DK far off into the rock surrounding)

Falco: (steps out of Arwing) Hey guys! Hey Fox.

Ness: About time you showed up.

Falco: (evil smile) Yes, it **is**. (looks around) Where's Falcon?

Young Link: Beats the hell out of me!

Hotel Delfino Manager: (comes from the hotel; running up to Mario) Mario! Thank goodness you came back! 

Mario: Why? What's-a happened?

H.D.M: We believe there's some more ghosts in our Hotel!

Mario: O.K. But first, let's-a get down to business: about the rooms--

Ganondorf: (snaps) I HAVE HAD ABOUT **ENOUGH** WITH THIS ISLAND!! STARTING NOW, I'M GOING TO--

H.D.M: Yes, the rooms are set, and all of you will have special access to the casino!

Ganondorf: SPARE THIS HAPPY LITTLE HOTEL!! (everyone looks at him) What!? The casino **HAS** to be great, otherwise, this place dies!

DK: *ape jibber-jabber*

Marth: You got that right.

H.D.M: Now, please follow me.

--

(Luigi and Bandit Keith have just 'borrowed' a boat and are heading off to the hotel. With clear skies and a sunset to top all sunsets, what will these two conniving bastards think of next?)

Luigi: So, what's at this Hotel Delfino?

Bandit Keith: Well, I hear the rooms are nice, pleasant ocean view, and-- (quickly looks back; starts looking around)

Luigi: God-a DAMMIT! You've been-a doing that, every 5-a minutes! What's up with that!?

Bandit Keith: Well, maybe to get this off my chest, I was... once a victim of mind control!

Luigi: Oh, is that-a it? I've been under mind control many-a times!

Bandit Keith: Really? Well, tell me I implore you!

Luigi: Well, you see...

--

(Back at the hotel)

H.D.M: (covering ears) You see, there's something emitting a loud snoring sound! We think it's another ghost!

Mario: Wait-a minute... WAS CAPTAIN FALCON HERE!?

H.D.M: We do have someone under 'Falcon' as a last name here.

Fox: Does Falcon know how to face off against ghosts?

Mario: THAT'S WHY I'M-A WORRIED!! (starts running up the stairs)

Samus: (shrugging shoulders) Wait up. This I gotta see. (goes after him)

Ganondorf: A-hem. And now, where is the casino?

H.D.M: Oh, down this hall.

Ganondorf: Sweet. (walks off)

(We'll get back to Ganondorf later. But for now, with Mario and Samus...)

Mario: The sound is-a getting closer!

Samus: That snoring is so annoying! Let's just kill this thing!

Mario: You don't-a have your armor on, Aran! How can you kill-a anything? You don't even have-a your armor with you... (she glares at him) Big-a mistake. 

Samus: (still glaring) Yeah, you shut up.

(The two find the room where the sound is emanating from. The two tear it down to see... Captain Falcon sleeping?)

Falcon: (snoring) 

Samus and Mario: I should've known!!

(Meanwhile)

Fox: Really? You want Bowser, Ness, and Nana's asses as well?

Falco: Damn straight! I could've been a Turtles Holiday Feast, no thanks to those three! 

Fox: I'll help you, Falco ol' pal! What do we have? 

Falco: Well, I got (pulls out some variety of explosives) dynamite, cherry bombs, "Midnight Sunrises"...

Fox: COOL!! Let's save those for later!

--

(With Ganondorf...)

Ganondorf: Strange... there's no one in this casino. Oh well, more for me! 

[Warning: If there are some people who have not played Super Mario Sunshine yet (or those who have, but do not want any advice on beating the bosses) should skip by this section, because it's a guide on how to beat the Sirena Beach boss. And it's especially important if it is underlined. Thank you.]

Ganondorf: (looks above) Damn disclaimers... (looks at giant roulette wheel) Hey, how come the center looks like it could be pushed down? I better check this out. (jumps on rather big center of roulette wheel; vibration occurs) What the!? This ain't right!

(The giant roulette wheel sinks into some strange space; suddenly, there stood the freaky-looking King Boo in the centre of the roulette.)

Ganondorf: What the!? Oh, it's just a Boo. (starts getting cocky) For a second there, I thought I was gonna be worried. HAHAHAHA--(the roulette wheel starts up) **NOW** WHAT THE FUCK!? (the roulette sections starts spinning) 

King Boo: You won't beat me, or solve my puzzle!

Ganondorf: Okay Ganondorf, let's think... (looks around; [take notes] ) For every section, there's at least one purple space. What would happen if I were to jump on those spaces? (jumps on each purple space, for there are three of them)

King Boo: (cursing) Drat! You got that part! Now, handle this!! (pulls out a slot machine; it comes out to 3 fruit symbols and happy chimes occur [if three ? marks come up, watch out for some enemies]) 

Ganondorf: Woohoo. What do I get? (a large collection of fruit pops out) Hmph. That's pathetic. I feel like killing myself... (grabs a chili pepper and unintentionally throws it at King Boo)

King Boo: YAAAAHHH!!! TOO SPICY!!! (starts flailing flaming tongue all over the place)

[In order to beat this boss, throw him a chili pepper; when his tongue starts to burst, throw a fruit at him; repeat at least two more times. But how Ganondorf does it...]

Ganondorf: NOW YOU DIE!! (pulls out rarely seen sword and does modified B move) **ULTIMATE GANONDORF STAB!!!** (Ganondorf ultimately stabs King Boo)

King Boo: NNNOOOOOO!! (dies)

Ganondorf: I beat it! Sa-weet!! That battle was pretty retarded! (realizes) Hello? Anyone up there? I'm sort of trapped down here! (interested) I wonder how I'm going to escape?

--

(Nighttime at Sirena Beach)

Young Link: How am I going to kill Ness?

Marth: Need some help?

DK: *ape grunt*

Young Link: Got you guys as well? 

Marth: He has some... powerful friends.

DK: *disgruntled grunt*

(Everyone sees Ness out in the water as he is swimming around for no apparent reason.)

DK: *whimsical ape sounds*

Marth: Yeah, doesn't he?

Young Link: Whatever, I'm still going after him! I'm going... to KILL HIM!!! And I plan to do such plan, (pulls out) with my **Bombos Medallion**!

DK: *loud gorilla noises*

Marth: Yeah, even I think that the Bombos Medallion is too much.

Young Link: Well, I'm still doing it!! (runs out to the water)

Ness: What the?

Young Link: NESS! FACE YOUR DOOM!! (holds the medallion in the air) BOMBOS MEDALLION!! 

(As Young Link said that, the ground around him starts to explode, and, unfortunately, goes into the water and starts rupturing the calm waters until water columns rise up; this sends Ness and someone else [?] up into the air; that someone grabs Ness and both land safely)

Marth: (in suspense) He's screwed. Samus was in the water as well...

DK: *ape sounds*

Marth: You're on!!

Samus: (with unconscious Ness in arms; slightly ticked off) What the fuck was that for, Link?

Young Link: Uh-oh... please don't hurt me Samus! I only wanted to kill Ness! (starts crying) That's all I wanted!!

Samus: (puts Ness down; instantly whips her cannon out of nowhere) Let's see: should I set it to 'Hyper Beam' or 'Phazon Beam'?

Young Link: (head down) I think the Hyper Beam would be less toxic--

(one firing process later; Young Link is sent flying into the air after a dome-shaped explosion)

Young Link: I MAY HAVE FAILED, BUT MY OLDER VERSION WILL FINISH THE VERSION WILL FINISH THE JOB!! (ding noise)

Marth: (cursing) Stupid fucking ape... won the bet. (hands 100 dollars to DK; DK is happy)

--

(Nighttime; when everyone is sleeping, except for Ness who is out looking at the moon on the beach and the stars shining bright)

Ness: It's such a beautiful night... You only experience this night once in a while... (gets to thinking) Why do I have these feelings for...

(all of a sudden)

Link: (as if in a trance) Ness, you must die.

Ness: Oh, go away Link. (psychically grabs Link and hurls him into the ocean)

Link: YYYAAAAHHHH!! (splash) YOW!!! It's frikkin' cold!! (gets dragged down by Cheep-Cheep) YYYAA--

Falcon: (from a window) WILL YOU SHUT UP!? THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!

Pikachu: (screaming as well) PI CHU!! [YEAH!!]

Ness: Jeez... Falcon sure broke the sound barrier... 

(All is quiet now; Ness keeps looking out at the water, seeing Link fighting off the gastronomically large Cheep-Cheep; someone sits down next to Ness)

Ness: Huh? Oh, hi Samus.

Samus: Hey Ness. (stares at the ocean) This type of night sort of really clears your mind of hardships, doesn't it?

Ness: (nods) True.

Mr. Game and Watch: (watching the two from a far) Beep beep? [What's going on?] 

Ness: Hey Samus.

Samus: Yeah?

Ness: Did you know, that some of us kid Smashers have a role model we look up to?

Samus: Really? I can easily bet it's either Marth, or Roy, or even (shudders) Falcon.

Ness: (shaking head) Nope.

Samus: Hm? Well, I'm surprised. Who then?

Ness: Well, (blushes) you.

Samus: Really? I didn't think you little half-pints saw me as a figure of maturity. Unlike that shit, Falcon...

Ness: (still blushing) Not only that, but you... are a strong person, and you are fearless as well. And deep down, I know you're a nice person.

Samus: (lips coming to a smile) Thanks, kid. That really means something to me. But, I think someone lied, (turns her back) you know, about the 'fearless' part. 

Ness: There is something you fear?

Samus: Well, it's the fact that--

Mr. Game and Watch: (screaming) MEEP BEEP DING BEEP!? [YOU'RE A PART OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY!?]

Ganondorf: (whom Game and Watch referred to) You know too much! Now you die!!

Captain Falcon: (screaming as if it we're day) LOOK! I DON'T CARE WHO IS WITH THE COMMUNIST PARTY OR NOT; JUST LET ME SLEEP!!

Mario: (in the next room) FALCON, SHUT-A THE FUCK UP!!

Captain Falcon: That's it Mario!! NOW YOU DIE! (goes into Mario's room; starts a Melee)

Samus: Well, we're not gonna get any sleep back at the hotel. (looks at a sleeping Ness; smiles) Good idea, Ness. He just looks so adorable when he sleeps... (yawns) Seriously, I should get some rest... (sleeps next to Ness; it almost looks like Ness is blushing in his sleep)

(Despite loud fighting, the two, along with an exhausted Link, and a battered Ganondorf {?} fall asleep in the midst of it all)

--

(Out at sea...; to fill you in, these two were attacked by a tidal wave)

Bandit Keith: Luigi, (exhausted) I'm not gonna make it...

Luigi: No! Don't speak-a crazy talk!! We'll make it! Like Bonnie and Clyde! Like Thelma and Louise! (starts to give in) Like... 

(The two sink; some time later, they wash ashore...)

--


	3. Pinna Park, Pirate Ships, slaying YuGiOh...

Delfino Mayhem!!

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: … I **am** getting lazy…

--

Grand Master Shoma: I am certain now, that we are in the next stretch of the vacation…

Oh yes.

GMS: In sunny Pinna Park!!

YAY… Pinna Park?  I would have preferred West Edmonton Mall's Galaxyland than that small place!

GMS: Whatever.

--

(On the beach of Pinna Park, outside the entrance to the amusement park; Luigi and Bandit Keith wash up onto the shore)

Luigi: (delirious) Like… Like LAUREL AND HARDEY!! (coming around) What the? We're alive? We're alive!!

Bandit Keith: (coming around as well) Huh? We're alive!! 

(The two grab each other by the hands, and start dancing around like idiots; when they realize there were some Nokis [snail people in Mario Sunshine] and Piantas watching them, they immediately stop)

Luigi: Now, where-a are we?

Bandit Keith: I think this is… Pinna Park.

Pianta: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! THE CRAZY GOPHER IS BACK!! (sent flying by a golden Bullet Bill; yes, for one of the Secrets for Pinna Park, you had to stop a terrorizing gopher)

Bandit Keith: That damn gopher! He'll kill us all--(he and Luigi get blasted into Pinna Park) WHOOOOAAA!!! (ding noise)

Luigi: I-A HATE MY LIFE!! (ding noise)

--

(The Smashers are on a boat; heading for Pinna Park)

Ness: (thinking to himself) I love Paula… but, are these feelings for Samus… true? This is too confusing…

Pichu: Pi chu pi! [We're near land!]

Pikachu: Pi ka! [I know!]

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep, ding beep beep. [We, will be happy for today.]

Ganondorf: Oh yes… Thank you for reminding me. HAPPY PLACE NEEDS TO PERISH!!

Kirby: Calm down.

Link: Must… kill… Ness…

Ness: (angry) Will you leave me the hell alone!? (Psychically hurls Link into, you guessed it, water)

Link: YYAAH!! (splash)

DK: *ape noises*

Yoshi: Yosh… [True…]

Peach: (hearing something) Hey, do you guys hear something? (you know what? Just for taking my line, here's some Bullet Bills for you; impacts the boat) YAAH!! 

Zelda: (splash) Can you be, anymore of a jerk!?

Falcon: Jesus Christ!! I'm falling-- (splash)

Mewtwo: Oh no! I'm wet! I'm WET!!

Mario: Oh, that is-a it! NO MORE DISTURBING-A MY VACATIONS!! (jumps into water and leaves everyone else on the boat; swims onto the beach) I'll get that damn gopher!

Ness: Let me get it. (charges up a powerful PSI spell) PSI ROCKIN W!! (blast is being hurled)

DK: (fires with Coconut gun) *ape noise***** (shot is fired)

Mario: And when I say I'm-a doing this, only I AM-A DOING **THIS**!! (gets cape and deflects Coconut gun shot and PSI Rockin W back at everyone else)

Mewtwo: (shocked) What… have you done?

(The boat explodes, sending everyone flying onto the beach [everyone is knocked out], and Link actually into the park)

Mario: (smiling) I actually meant to do-a that. Now, for that gopher! (runs off to that gopher)

--

(Inside Pinna Park; Luigi, Bandit Keith, and Link [who recently fell in] are just walking around the park, not sure what they are doing, until they run across the Yu-Gi-Oh! Gang [Yugi, Tristan, Joey, Téa, and Ryou] waiting in line for the pirate ship ride)

Joey: (taking notice) Hey guys, look! Bandit Keith just keeps coming back!

Tristan: Don't you ever learn, you cheater?

Bandit Keith: Hush the fuck up, otherwise I'll kick your ass!

Téa: Yeah right. 

Luigi: Okay, leave-a the guy alone!

Link: So what if he is a jerk (Bandit Keith: Hey!) or a criminal-like S.O.B. (Bandit Keith: Now that was mean…) but hey, he's all right. (Bandit Keith: Thanks!)

Joey: OH MY GOD!! IT'S LINK!! (goes up to Link) CAN I TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE SO COOL!?

Link: Um, I guess…

Ryou [Bakura, otherwise]: Hey guys, I don't want to intervene, but what the hell is that thing over there?

(All turn their attention to… Sandbag? It looks pretty happy [despite it not having a mouth], but, why is it's eyes red??

GMS: It's going to kill us all, me thinks.)

Luigi: (scratching head) What's-a Sandbag doing here?

Joey: ALL RIGHT!! I ALWAYS WANTED TO BAT THIS FREAK'S--

(Five seconds later; Joey is dead)

Bandit Keith: (shocked like hell along with everyone else) YOW! I've never seen such a quick and gory death!

Yugi: Poor Joey…

Tristan: (pulls out a bat) Well, looks like baseball practice have finally paid off; I get to bat Sandbag's head off, and I'll avenge Joey at the same time--

(Three seconds later; Tristan has HIS head batted off by the Sandbag.

GMS: Are you telling me that he nabbed the bat and gained enough power to bat Tristan's head off? Well, those Sandbags will do that to ya.)

Falcon: (from the beach) EEEWWW!! A HEAD!!

DK: (from the beach) *ape screams*

Falco: (from the beach) Gross.

Yugi: Don't worry guys, I'm very sure Téa can handle this.

Ryou: No she can't! Unless she dresses like a skank, but

(As Ryou was talking, the girl was getting devoured whole by Sandbag [FREAKY, AIN'T IT!?], leaving to slurp up her legs like spaghetti; Everyone looks)

Ryou: (flails arms in defeat) SON-OF-A--(his Millennium Ring glows, becomes his dark side) 

Bakura: That's it! Why can't this thing die!? (snaps fingers) Of course!

(Four seconds later; Sandbag spits out the Millennium Ring [Poor Bakura])

Yugi: Will nothing save us!?

(Suddenly, the Blue Eyes White Dragon approaches the area; you know what that means J)

Luigi: (running away) OH GOD!! SAVE-A ME!!

Seto: There is no mercy for you, LUIGI!! 

(BEWD fires white lightning at Luigi; he gets fried; the Sandbag tries to devour the BEWD, and it gets devoured)

Mokuba: (only one looking for Yugi's friends) Hey, where is everyone?

Yugi: Other than me, the Sandbag killed/ate them.

Seto: The thing our dragon just ate? (The BEWD is not well; it collapses)

Mokuba: (gasps) BLUE EYES!!(goes to its head) You were a good dragon…

Luigi: (all happy) ALL RIGHT!! IT'S DEAD!! LALALALALA—(gets eaten by Blue Eyes White Dragon)

Bandit Keith and Link: Well that was unexpected.

Seto: Well, at least we have our revenge… What the fuck is that sound? (looks at his dragon) Uh-Oh…

(One very disturbing scene later; that's right: Luigi passed through the digestive system of the BEWD, and he… needs a shower… that's right again, he smells like holy dragon shit.

So disturbing, even I had some problems getting myself to write it)

--

(When the other Smashers enter, they see Luigi, Link, Yugi, and Bandit Keith all riding the pirate ship ride.)

Mario: Why would Link and-a Luigi go here? I already-a told them about when the ship turns upside down, and the fact that there are no belts on that ride!

Falco: Then why do people ride it?

Zelda: Why is everyone keeping their distance from Luigi?

(Ship turns fully upside down; the four on that boat ride fall to the ankle-deep water; lots of groaning of pain occurs)

Link: Why is this ankle-deep?

Bandit Keith: Why are there no belts!?  
  


Yugi: OOOWWW!! MY LEGS!!

Falcon: Hey! (points) COOL! Clam Merry-go-round!! (giggles like a schoolgirl and goes on the ride; strangely, Pichu follows suit [If you all remember, Falcon scared the living daylights out of Pichu in Revenge Union]) Hello Pichu! (gets shocked out of daylights by Pichu with his strongest Thunder attack) STOOOOOOOPPP IT PICCCHUHUUU!!! (faints)

Pichu: (dizzy) Pi… chu pi… [I… got my revenge…]

Ganondorf: (thinking) Now where was I…

Everyone: NNNOOOO!!

Ganondorf: Oh yes!! Since we're on the topic of revenge: (goes over to Roy; grabs him) NOW YOU DIE FOR ALL THOSE WEEKS OF REHAB!!! (goes to the ankle-deep water, and tries to drown him) DIE!!

Marth: No wait!! (evil) You need to keep him under control! (assists Ganondorf with Roy-drowning ritual)

Falcon: (recovers after Pichu shocks) HEY! Leave my pal Roy alone!! (throws Ganondorf off of Roy, giving Roy enough strength to throw Marth off of him)

Roy: Wow, thanks Falcon!

Falcon: Anytime, my Falcon-buddy!!

Roy: (feels torn and ashamed) Don't say that again.

--

(At the roller coaster, Bowser, Fox, the Ice Climbers, and Mewtwo are in line, waiting to get on)

Popo: I don't like how Fox is glaring at us.

Nana: It must have been the hounds that made him nuts. (looks back) And Mewtwo is pretty scary looking as well…

Bowser: Don't worry about them… (roller coaster comes up) Well, we're up next!

Popo: Don't these coasters only fit one person?  
  


Bowser: (thinking of an idea) We'll fit. (gets on and grabs the Ice Climbers with him) OFF WE GO!!

Fox: (next to Mewtwo) Hey Mewtwo… take a look at this! (shows Mewtwo a "Midnight Sunrise")

Mewtwo: WHOA!! Aren't those… illegal?

Fox: (shrugging shoulders) Eh, they might be… But, (throws the "Midnight Sunrise" onto the track) it should be a surprise for the kids and the turtle!

(WHAT WILL HAPPEN!? I don't know, but let's see what Yoshi and DK are doing)

Yoshi: Yosh… yosh… Yosh? [Moving… moving… what the?]

DK: *ape noise* (they both see a Yoshi egg, demanding for some bananas) *ape noise*?

Yoshi: YOSHI!! [I don't see why not!]

(They get some bananas from a tree, whom Bandit Keith was launched at after a mishap on the pirate ship ride)

DK:  *ape noise* 

Bandit Keith: Hey, you're welcome! Now, can someone get me down?

Yugi: Don't worry! I'll be with you in a second!

(back with DK and Yoshi; they give the bananas to the Yoshi egg, and a Yoshi hatches)

Delfino Island Yoshi: (this one has somewhat of a Jamaican accent) Yosh? [Mommy?]

Yoshi: WWAAAHHH!!? [WWWWHHHAAAT!!?]

DK: *stupid ape laughter at Yoshi's expense* 

(with the Kaiba Bros., Link, and Luigi; they try the Yoshi-go-round)

Mokuba: (like a little child) WHEE! THIS IS FUN!!

Link: I don't know about that…

Seto: Maybe Luigi, we can talk some peace terms.

Luigi: How about, "stop blasting-a me with your Blue Eyes!" Does that work-a with you?

Seto: Probably…

Mokuba: I WANT TO RIDE THE ONE WHERE THERE'S NO YOSHI!! (gets near it; he disappears)

Link: Um, Kaiba, your little brother's gone.

Seto: WHAT!? (searches around) Where is he… (disappears)

Luigi: That's it, I'm-a outta here.

Link: NO WAY! You're coming with me…

Luigi: (as the both of them disappear into the Yoshi-go-round Secret) I don't want to…

(back to Bowser and the Ice Climbers on the stopped ride)

Nana: Why did the ride have to stop?

Popo: Yeah, because I love hanging from an upside down coaster!

(the three are basically hanging on for dear life; the ride starts again and the three of them fall in, luckily Bowser first)

Bowser: OW… lucky you two got on top of me…

Popo: (worried) Uh-oh…

Nana: What?

Popo: "MIDNIGHT SUNRISE", DEAD AHEAD!!!

Bowser: (shock) WHAT!? (sees it about straight ahead) THIS IS FOX'S DOING!! (grabs Popo and Nana and, you guessed it, jumps off, using his ass as a cushion) YOWW!

Fox: THEY GOT OFF!? Well, there goes my plan, right Mewtwo? Mewtwo? (sees Mewtwo 'running' the hell away from Fox because, a) Fox threw his "Midnight Sunrise" Right in front of them, and b) It's going to hurt) Oh shit… 

(one giant explosion later)

Fox: WWWHHHOOOAAA!!! (ding)

Bowser: Do you guys hope he burns in hell?

The Ice Climbers: Damn straight! 

--

(Bandit Keith and Yugi are now stuck in a tree; sucks to be them. On the Ferris Wheel, Peach and Zelda discuss what they could do about Samus, and Ness and Samus are just enjoying the ride.)

Ness: (laughing to himself) Heh heh heh… I didn't know people could get stuck into trees. (looks at Samus) Are you okay?

Samus: Me? Well, I'm fine. Really. It's just that for all of my years as a bounty hunter, I never really get to—

Ness: Relax?

Samus: That is what I am saying. I can barely have fun in my life. It's just nice to look out at the water… so peaceful and serene… 

Ness: … Samus?

Samus: Hm?

(Meanwhile…)

Yugi: (laughing) Wow! I didn't know you were a funny guy, Keith.

Bandit Keith: Yep. I do have the best 'yo mama' jokes. 

Falcon: People in trees!? I'LL SAVE YOU! And in the only way I know how! (you guessed it) FALCON…

Bandit Keith: Yugi, yo mama is so fat, Spain claimed her as a new world!

Yugi: (laughing, then stops) Hey!

Falcon: PUNCH!! (bashes the tree, sending the tree and the people on the tree flying toward the Ferris Wheel) Oops.

(Back to…)

Ness: (about to confess) Samus, I truly lov--(hears some crashing and screaming) What the? (Ness looks to the side)

Peach: (with Zelda) PERVERTS!! GET OUT! GET OUT!!! (starts kicking a dazed Yugi and Bandit Keith)

Yugi: We… did nothing… (gets kicked out) UUWWAAAA!! (crash)

Bandit Keith: (smirking) Cool… up-skirt madness. (gets kicked hard) AAAAAHHHH!! (crash)

Zelda: Fresh… (feels a bit odd) Isn't this ride going a tad too fast? 

(You are right, Zelda. For the ride is being sped up for strange reasons… then, all of a sudden, the Ferris Wheel dislodges and rolls all over the Pinna Park. Five seconds later…)

Zelda: Man, I think I'm going to… oh, good, I thought I was going to lose my… this time, it's for sure! (You know what she does)

Samus: (a bit dizzy) Whoa… the first time I truly felt this dizzy… At least we crushed Ganondorf and Falcon.

Falcon: (injured badly) Bones are ever so broken…

Ganondorf: Ditto…

--

Mysterious person: Well, it looks like my Ferris Wheel bit didn't really stop them. I can figure out something else. And it means, total doom.

--

What's this!?

GMS: A plot!?

Well, now, anything can happen!

Why don't you tell me what should happen, and where to go next!

GMS: I NEED REVIEWS!!!

We're both the same person, you fool.

We really are. 


	4. Gelato Beach, Wiggler death, making melo...

Delfino Mayhem!!

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: We all know about the "I don't own Smash Bros. Melee",  and the "Nor do I own Mario Sunshine or Yu-Gi-Oh!"; and so... get outta here!

There, I'm not lazy.

--

Now, as I have realized among the reviews for Chappie 3, that there are some people who... _really_ let their opinions go. (You know who you are!)

The reason I did that is: well, 

1) I like Bandit Keith, and the fact that he'll be important to the plot.

2) Although I also like Joey (and his sister) and Tristan, it's in a saying: If you love a certain character(s) from a show(s), it's in your right mind to let them get killed by Sandbag. Not devoured though, heh heh heh...

3) Because I know that there many sick Bakura freaks out there, I did it intentionally... Depending on how you react with this, the outcome might be different... 

And now to Gelato Beach...

--

(Everyone is outside after the Ferris Wheel incident at Pinna Park.)

Luigi: Strange, who would want to-a kill us? Or the people here?

Falcon: Beats the fuck out of me! But where's Yoshi and DK?

Jigglypuff: Jiggly jigg. [They'll come.]

Seto: Well, we're off on our own, for now anyway.

Zelda: How do we get back?

Mario: Well, there is-a always the boat.

Mokuba: We're leaving on our dragon.

Ganondorf: And Luigi will go by cannon! 

Luigi: WHAT!?

(As if by instinct, the BEWD lunges for Luigi and stuffs him in a cannon; the cannon fires as if it were alive)

Luigi: (screaming) WHY-A ME!!!? (ding)

--

(Where is Yoshi, DK, and the Delfino Yoshi? They took a boat ride back to the Delfino Plaza)

Yoshi: Yoshi yosh yoshi? [What are you island Yoshis like?]

D.I. Yoshi: Yosh, yo yosh. [Well, we revert back to our egg forms if we touch water.]

DK: *ape noise*

D.I. Yoshi: Yosh yo yo yosh. Yoshi... [And we can't go for long without eating. Don't want to though...]

Yoshi: Yosh! [Astounding!]

Pianta: (on fire) HELP ME!! I'm ON FIRE!!! (Why do people keep taking what I'm saying? BURN!!!) YYAAAHHHH!!! It WON'T STOP!!

(The Delfino Island Yoshi squirts the water using his, um, bodily fluids...)

Pianta: Thank you. (hands the three something) Here's a blue coin. (walks off) 

D.I. Yoshi: Yosh shi yoshi... (sad)Yosh yoshi. [We can also do that... (sad) That's why we need to eat whenever we are thirsty.]

--

(On the boat, their next hearty destination on Delfino Isle is Gelato Beach...)

Bandit Keith: Stop pushing!

Bowser: (unknowingly sitting on Samus) Make room for my large body!

Mewtwo: It's not my fault that this boat is room-restricted.

Yugi: C'mon! Make some room! (unintentionally pushes Ganondorf) 

Ganondorf: (evil) Big mistake, kid. (just simply throws Yugi into the reefs) And I'm not done! (jumps in after him)

(When the boat reaches the beach)

Link: Aah, clear blue skies!

Falco: (looks DIRECTLY at the sun) YAAAAHHH!! My EYES!!

Popo: And the sun is so grand.

Falcon: What do you--(looks DIRECTLY at the sun) YAAAAHHH!! My EYES!!

Nana: (Note: in this fic, the Ice Climbers do not have their usual parkas and shit on) Makes me want to go for a swim.

Yugi: (swimming as fast as he can) GET THAT FREAK AWAY FROM ME!!! (Bandit Keith is laughing)

Ganondorf: C'mon! I only want to kill you some for pushing me!! 

Yugi: Then kill Keith as well; he said your mama was so fat that she sat on a GameCube, and it turned into a GameBoy!

Bandit Keith: (almost preparing to run) SAY WHAT!?

Ganondorf: Oh, really? (evil; pulls out sword) You both DIE!!! (chases after both of them)

(a bit farther away)

Ness: Thank God that all I needed was some quiet time away from all the noise and Yugi-Keith-killing! (looks around) Though I wonder where Samus went. Can I tell her...

Falcon: Hey Ness! Do you know where that hot-babe Samus went?  
  
Ness: I don't know? And I thought you were chasing after Peach!

Falcon: Meh, I go after lots of women.

Fox: (coming from out of the sun) WWWHHHOOOAAA!! (crash) Ow...

Falcon: Hey Fox. (stupid question arising) How's the weather?

Fox: (getting himself up) Shut up. Otherwise, clear. (glares at Ness) I'LL KILL YOU!!

Ness: Don't think it. (Ness fires PK Fire at Fox)

Fox: YOW! It really burns! Especially in this heat!!

Falcon: OH DEAR JEEBUS!!! (Ness and Fox look at Falcon) That plant is withering! 

(Falcon gets a bucket out of nowhere, fills it with sea water and throws it onto the plant; it goes through three different faces before it grows straight and tall; the three are launched high into the air by a giant formation underneath the plant)

Falcon: WWWHEEEE!!!

Fox: HEY, THIS ISN'T SO BAD!!

(Ness, however lands into someone lying on the water; he stumbles around, places a hand on something he shouldn't be placing upon, and...)

Samus: NESS!!

Ness: (turns away quickly) I'm so sorry Samus!! I didn't see you there as I was caught in flight by Fox and Falcon! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!

Samus:  Ness, we have to stop meeting like this. Seriously. 

(an explosion immolates out of nowhere, and a giant caterpillar with a flower on it's head comes out from the explosion, and it's freaking pissed!

GMS: Note, that this is a guide on how to beat the Gelato Beach boss, Wiggler. As usual, underlined is important)

Mario: What the? OH, NOT YOU AGAIN!!

Falcon: Wow, this island has a worm problem! And I mean the variety that'll crush you!!

(The Wiggler moves in a strange pattern, almost always trying to stomp atop of Mario and the others; Mario realizes something)

Mario: I remember how I beat this fuck. I sprayed water at those little buds--

Ness: The ones that launches you in the air?

Mario: YES, THOSE ONES!! When they-a emerge, it makes the Wiggler lose balance, and fall on it's-a side!

Falcon: SO, what are we (gets stepped on) Owww...

Mewtwo: Simple humans, (almost in a heroic tone) I will distract the fuck while you get some water!! (to the said fuck) NEENER NEENER NEEEEEENER!!! (Wiggler chases after him)

Mario: A problem though, since I don't have-a my FLUDD anymore, so I can't water it! (turns around) Oh, Samus...

Samus: What?

Mario: You don't-a suppose you can fill your cannon with water?

Mewtwo: Well, the fuck's lost interest in me, and is squishing Falcon...

Falcon: (as said fuck is squishing him) Help me...

Samus: Alright, here! (tosses her arm cannon to Mario)

(Mario equips it, and starts absorbing some water. He locks onto the bud that's nicely close to the Wiggler, and starts firing water at the plant; it undergoes the growth process...)

Samus: (gets a bit pissed off as she gets closer to the plant) Why isn't it growing?

Mario: SAMUS! GET-A THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!

(The plant launches the Wiggler up just a bit above ground and on it's back, it sends Falcon flying off [Falcon: GGUUWWWOOH!! (ding)], and Samus is launched straight upwards and, well, let's just say she's screaming something fierce [Think her Metroid Prime death scream, but not so... well, violent])

(As for the Wiggler, that pattern must be done three times, as for this situation...)

Mario: NOW, WE HIP DROP HIS ASS!

Mewtwo: That will take too long... I will handle him. (He seems to be concentrating really hard; that, and he's lifting the Wiggler up)

Mario: What's he-a doing?

Ness: (reading Mewtwo's mind; shocked) We have to get out of here!!

Mario: Why?

(The Wiggler explodes. That's right: it's innards are splashed all over the place, most of which has covered Mewtwo... but wait... our dear Samus has finally come down from impact with a Space Pirate convoy [though oblivious to what hit them; why Space Pirates?] and falls into some Wiggler innards)

Samus: Ow... ohh... (realizes what she's covered in) What... the... FUCK... IS THIS SHIT!? (Ness and Mario already took this advantage to run the fuck out of there; sees Mewtwo)

Mewtwo: (sad) Oh, fuck...

--

(with Falcon; he was hurled a good or so distance away and lands on some type of, um, land)

Falcon: GUWOOH! (crash) Ow... (sees all these Piantas and Nokis looking at him; being an ass) Thank you! I do that once a week! Now get the fuck out of my face.

Pianta: We will ignore what you said! 

Noki: Look! The Sand Bird Egg has hatched!

Falcon: Huh? (you should know about the Sand Bird Egg in the Light Tower) Well, I don't know shit--(slips and starts sliding down) OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! WHEEEE!!! (lands on the bottom half of the egg; disappears)

(Falcon now is onboard the legendary Sand Bird that is flying, well, God knows how high)

Falcon: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! (holds onto a block of the Sand Bird) WHERE AM I!?

(the Sand Bird decides to go into a half barrel-roll, leaving Falcon screaming for mercy)

Falcon: (falling, but latches onto a heightened sand block) Oh dear GOD!! (the Sand Bird regains balance) Thank you, kind bird!

(it throws Falcon onto a large tower; Falcon is happy, but then suddenly realizes that there is no way to get off of said tower)  
  
Falcon: NO! WAIT! (going to cry) OH GREAT MIGHTY SAND BIRD!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!

(jumps to the bird, but... misses...)

Falcon: (takes a deep breath) NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! (ding)

--

(On the top of the Gelato Beach area, some time passed, and a giant watermelon is at the top; after hearing about the watermelon contest [whoever brings in the biggest melon], Bandit Keith [being a money pig and all] decides to drag Yugi along to the giant watermelon)

Yugi: (thinking) Why am I here? Since Joey, Tristan, and the others are killed/devoured, and the Kaibas are off somewhere else; I have nothing better to do...

Bandit Keith: HEY! Check this out! (rolls the melon to Yugi) This is first prize!

Ganondorf: (walks up to the both of them; wheeling in his own giant melon) No... THIS IS **FIRST** PRIZE!! (starts laughing maniacally, until falling Luigi is no longer falling and smashes Ganondorf) Ow! Down I go... (faints)

Bandit Keith: Hey Luigi.

Luigi: Hey Keith. (looks at the melon) WOW! That's-a one big melon!

Yugi: For a contest.

(Suddenly, everything goes silent.)

Voice: Yugi?

Voice2: Is that you?

(Out of nowhere, Yugi's supposedly dead friends, Joey and Tristan, are right in front of their faces.)

Joey: What's shaking, Yug?

Yugi: (almost at tears) GUYS! YOU'RE ALIVE!! (runs to hug Joey, but goes through him) WHA! (crash; starts screaming because his friends are ghosts) AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Bandit Keith and Luigi: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Joey and Tristan: (scream because of the shock of the others screaming) Wah!!!

Tristan: Seriously though, we have something important to say. There's an evil force on this island, that's trying to kill the Smash Bros. people! And look! (removes his head) Remember when that freak Sandbag batted my head off, I can do 'the Headless Horseman' impersonation!

Joey: Watch it, dumbass!

Yugi: What about Teá and Ryou?

Tristan: Oh, **they're **gone for good. Since that bag of straw ate them, they're somehow gone...

Joey: From the world and even the Shadow Realm!

Bandit Keith: OKAY! HOLD UP! (a bit confused) What's with this 'ghosts of victims from Sandbag' and 'kill Smash Bros. Melee characters' crap!?

Tristan: The thing is that, we know who it is.

Joey: Yeah, it's that jerk, M--

Luigi: (cracks) I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!! (busts out his Poltergust 3000 [his vacuum] and starts sucking up ghost Joey and Tristan) DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!

Joey: WWAAAAHHH!!! (he and his friend's body gets sucked up)

Tristan: (his head) Alas world, you killed us once via Sandbag, and now-- (got sucked up)

Yugi: (shocked for a few seconds; turns to Luigi) WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!? THEY COULD'VE HELPED US!

Bandit Keith: (surprised) Holy shit...

Luigi: (in tears) I'm-a sorry!! I-a choked!! It was instinct!!

Yugi: YOU CHOKED!?

Ganondorf: Oh man... OH YEAH! WE have a little watermelon contest! Let's see who can get our designated watermelons to that hut (points to that hut), wins. And if I win, I get that toy.

Luigi: NO! I-a won't allow you to take my-a Poltergust!

Ganondorf: Who wants that shit!? I meant that weak Yugi fuck.

Yugi: (on a mad streak) You're on!

Bandit Keith: Now this, I like!

(Like if someone fired a 'starting pistol of destiny', Yugi, Bandit Keith, and Luigi were pushing their watermelon against Ganondorf and his watermelon; considering they were on a steep incline, they had to keep up with the melons, and who happened to walk by but...)

Young Link: What the!? (Gets rolled over by one group of watermelon pushers) OW! You dirty fu--(gets crushed by Ganondorf and his melon) Damn... that hurt...

(They head they're way to the hut, which, sadly, is only able to hold one watermelon and pusher[s]. Luckily, all four of them trip [Ganondorf: What the f-- (trips)] and the two melons barrage their way to the hut, rolling down Mewtwo! [Mewtwo: This day is my Waterloo... (gets barraged)] and the Pianta stops the melons]

Random Pianta: Well now, whose melons are these?

The four of them: OURS!!!

Random Pianta: Well, let's see the results. 

(The Random Pianta chucks the two big fruits onto the top of the hut, which has a grinding-able propeller; it makes watermelon smoothies out of the hardly-earned fruits)

Random Pianta: They're about even! You all get first prize!

Bandit Keith: (being the money-grubbing bastard that he is) HOW much?

Random Pianta: 1,000 coins!

Luigi: It's about $1,000.

Ganondorf: (gets his coins) See ya, losers!

Bandit Keith: (disappointed) Oh, man... It's alright.

Yugi: Split it three-way!

Voice: It better be four-way if you value your soul!

Bandit Keith: Fine! Four-way! (mutters) Man, you guys and your constant money-wanting! Wait, I described me! (normal; hands out shit) Here! 250 for Yugi, 250 for Luigi, 250 for me, and 250 for Bakura! (realizes) Wait a minute...

Bakura: (was Voice that time) Thank you, mortals!

Yugi: Bakura!! But, we say you got eaten! You didn't survive!!

Luigi: Are you (gets a bit nervous) a ghost?

Bakura: I'm not a ghost! And, well, I don't like to blabber off. (aside) That's what our show does! (normal) I made a deal in the Shadow Realm, yadda-yadda-yadda, I was able to get myself a new body in exchange of your Millennium Puzzle, yadda-yadda-yadda, I have a terrible headache.

(suddenly, the Random Pianta starts to scream in rage, giving good time for Bandit Keith and Luigi to run like little girls in hell; the Pianta throws Bakura up and onto the propeller)

Bakura: JESUS! NOT AGAIN! Wait a minute... (floats a little bit above the propeller) I am mighty! I will control the world! I will--what's that sound?

(Bakura looks up to see Captain Falcon falling from a great height [i.e. the Sand Bird] heading straight towards his being)

Falcon: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!

Bakura: (hopes have sunk) This can turn dire...

(Falcon crashes into Bakura, sending the helmeted 36-year old off to the beach and crash. [Falcon: I saw the Sand Bird... (faints)] As for Bakura... well, if you're a nasty little Bakura fan who will flame me after reading this, [I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but really, there **_IS A LIMIT_**!!] stop reading. Because, well, um...

GMS: Bakura smoothie anyone?)

Yugi: OH DEAR GOD NO!!!

Luigi: Man, that's just-a brutal!

Bandit Keith: No kidding...

Random Pianta: (no longer brainwashed) What happened... (turns around to see body parts in smoothie tube) what have I done? WHAT AM I DOING!?

Kirby: (I haven't given him work in a uber-long while) Where are those watermelon smoothies I've heard so much--(sees chunks of Bakura in smoothie tube) about... ?

Luigi: They-a sort of have a bit of-a meat in them... 

Bandit Keith: (sickened) More like human flesh! Excuse me! (runs off to barf)

--

Mysterious someone: Well, it looks like the Smashers have Yugi and his friends in on this whole fiasco...

Space Pirate: And that no good Aran found us!

Mysterious someone: Well then, we'll have to keep our guard up, now won't we?

--

Like I said: A PLOT!! 

And that's all...

...

...

...

...

--

GMS: PSYCHE!  Because before we put up this chapter, we received at least 10 reviews! For every ten, I'll show some extra scenes that I didn't want to even consider putting in, until now! Enjoy!

--

[For the Yu-Gi-Oh! fans]

(Pinna Park; before the Smashers arrived; Joey, Tristan, Yugi, Tea, and Bakura [Not Ryou] look at the Clam Merry-Go-Round)

Joey: Hey! That shit looks like fun!

Teá: That doesn't look like fun to me!

Bakura: (sarcastic) Well, then why don't you suck Yugi's balls!? I bet that's fun!

Tristan: That's a burn, man, I think! (slaps Bakura's hand)

Joey: Well, then, kick these closed shells open! (kicked said closed shell open) And it's a chair!

Bakura: Now **this** I gotta see! (sits in open chair) This is nice... for the future, I guess. (clam slams shut on him; hear multiple screams coming from him) AAH! YAH! AAH! AAH!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!! FOR THE LOVE OF EGYPTIAN GODS, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

--

(On the boat in Chapter 1; everyone [at the time, minus Falcon] is frikkin bored! Mr. Game and Watch decides to break the silence)

Mr. Game and Watch: (gets out a liquid crystal guitar; strums a few strings) Beep... ding meep beep bing beep. [I've... been waiting to play this song in a boring moment.]

 ♪♫ Beep ding beep beep...

       Ring deep beep bing...

       Beep ding... Ming...

       Ring ring ring ring ring... ♪♫

(Ganondorf cracks and Warlock Punches Mr. Game and Watch into the distance... Oh, and I had no time for direct translation of song. Sorry.)

Mr. Game and Watch: MEEP DING BEEP DEEP BING--!! [MOTHER OF ALL HEAVENS AND--!!] (ding)

Ganondorf: GOD! I couldn't stand it anymore!

(Everyone beats the crap out of Ganondorf, as Mr. Game and Watch was the only entertainment. Ouch!)

--

Now...  it's the end...

GMS: Peace out!!


	5. Ricco Harbor, Space Pirates, all talk an...

Delfino Mayhem!!

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: We all know about the "I don't own Smash Bros. Melee",  and the "Nor do I own Mario Sunshine or Yu-Gi-Oh!"; and so... get outta here!

There, I'm not lazy.

--

Today's destination... 

RICCO HARBOR!!

...

Strange... GMS isn't saying anything today...

Good.

--

(The Smashers see the Blue Eyes White Dragon flying away with the Kaiba Bros., Bandit Keith [he'll be back], and Yugi. [Yugi wanted to leave since he saw too many of his friends getting killed. Three of them which died twice.] They now decide where to go next. Oh, and they finally find DK and the two Yoshis.)

Falco: Where were you guys at?

DK: *ape noise* 

Roy: Very interesting. You must tell us more.

Pianta Boat attendant: All aboard the next freighter to Ricco Harbor! Last call for Ricco Harbor!

Mario: Well! That sounds fine!

Mewtwo: Yes, but did we _want_ to go there?

Falcon: Let destiny work shit out for us, (looks at Zelda) right hot-cakes? (gets palm-striked) My chin...

Jigglypuff: JIGGLY JIGG!! [ME FIRST!!]

Bowser: Go to hell! I'm in first this time! (dashes to the boat; Jigglypuff comes in hot pursuit)

(As now everyone has now placed themselves into the boat. Well, except for one...)

Fox: Hey Samus! c'mon! Don't miss the boat!

Pikachu: Pika pi ka pi chu!! [We don't want you to be left behind!!]

Samus: (running) DON'T WORRY! I'M COMING!! (jumps gracefully onto the boat)

Popo: Can you not rock the boat, please?

Falcon: (singing that Aaliyah song, 'Rock the Boat'; singing horribly, mind you)

♪♫Baby, I want you to

     Rock the boat!

     Rock the boat!

     Rock the boat-- (gets bashed in the head by Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Samus) 

Kirby: (angry) You were disrespecting Aaliyah by singing one of her songs crappily!

Ganondorf: Even **I** think that's horrible! 

Mr. Game and Watch: (angry as well) BEEP DING MEEP RRRRIIINNG!! [HIGH TREASON!!]

DK: *angry ape sounds*

Marth: THROW HIM OFF THE BOAT!!

(the angry mob now throws Falcon into the open ocean)

Falcon: (screaming) YAH!! THAT WATER IS FREAKING COLD!! (sees no sign of the boat; groaning) Not again!!

--

Mysterious 'M' person: Be ready to attack Ricco Harbor on my command. Understand?

Space Pirate: Yes. Then, you'll help us conquer the galaxy, right?

Mysterious 'M' person: We'll see...

--

(Boat docks itself at Ricco Harbor; all of them get off, and now are starting to separate into their own little factions)

Mario: Right. I'm with-a the Yoshis, Bowser, Marth, Peach, and DK. (and they are off)

Link: I'll stick with Zelda, Roy, Mr. Game and Watch, and the Ice Climbers. (they're on their own little path as well)

Ganondorf: Fox, Mewtwo, Falco, and I want to Blooper-surf! (off they go to Blooper-surf)

Young Link: C'mon! I saw an gelato stand around here! DING DING DING DING!! (off he, Ness, Kirby,  and the rest of the Pokemon go to said gelato stand)

Samus: Well then, (thinking) What am I to do--(feels wet hand around her arm) WHAT THE!? (punches the mysterious thing behind her; turns out to be Falcon)

Falcon: Ouch!!! (covering nose, which is somewhat bleeding, but starts to fade) Do you want to know how long it took me to swim here!? ... 15 minutes!! And it shouldn't have to be that long! (glaring at the water) You DIRTY CHEEP-CHEEPS!!

(The Cheep-Cheeps are laughing at Falcon, then resume lying underwater)

Falcon: Now, I want to try to be serious here, for a moment. (seeing Samus trying not to laugh) I MEAN IT!!

Samus: (thinking to herself) This ought to be good.

Falcon: My dear, I am **uber**-serious when I am about to say this: Samus my dear, will you marry me?

(Samus looks a little shocked; suddenly, a smile curls around her lips...)

(Meanwhile...)

Pikachu: (stops for a second) Pi ka? [Huh?]

Pichu: Pi chu pi chu? [Something wrong?]

Pikachu: (ears twitch) Pi ka chu! [I hear laughter!]

Ness: I see Samus!

(Samus walks by them, but in an uncontrollable feat of laughter. Something must have made her laugh reeeeeal hard...)

Pichu: Pi chu pi pi chu pi chu chu pi... [Something must have made her laugh real hard...] (I'm not going to even bother speaking; knocks out Pichu)

Young Link: (looks back at Pichu) That's got to hurt. What's so funny?

Samus: (trying to hold back her laughter) Well, hmph, Falcon did the stupidest thing known to... well, hehehe, the whole UNIVERSE!

Jigglypuff: Puff jigg? [What did he do?]

Samus: He asked if he could (bursts out in laughter) MARRY ME!! HAHAHAHA (continues laughing) HAHAHAHAHAHA--

Pikachu: (irritated) Pi ka... [Enough...] (Goes right up to her, and does a Thunderbolt attack; you know the rest)

Samus: YYYAAAHH!!! (falls into an unconscious state)

Ness: (thinking) Falcon asked Samus to marry him, and she laughs at his face? Does that mean... she'll do that to me? (saddened) 

Young Link: So... How about some gelatos?

--

Ganondorf: How's your surfing?

Pianta attendant: Oh, it's great! All you have to do is just jump on a Blooper, and then, you are ready to surf!!

Mewtwo: The Pianta's voice irritates me. Let's destroy him!

Falco: Me first!! (jumps on a green Blooper, and off he goes!) WHOO!!!

Fox: (sad) Fucker... he took the green one. 

Falco: (screaming) I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!! (crashes into a boat; is out cold and is not moving)

Ganondorf: Odd...

Mewtwo: He should be a better swimmer.

Ganondorf: (being a pompous ass) You know, Falco, you can't swim with your face submerged in the water. (when Falco does not respond...) Oy...

Fox: Don't worry, Falco!! GOOD OL' FOX IS COMING TO SAVE YOU! (takes the yellow Blooper and... suffers the same fate)

Mewtwo: Okay, it's time for me to be the hero... (psychically hovers over to where Fox and Falco are, and puts them on a nearby boat) Better?

Ganondorf: Yes. Now, let's get out of here! (Ganondorf and Mewtwo get the hell out of there)

--

Luigi: (just sitting on his own) Destiny will-a spin... I need to-a see a psychiatrist... I see dead people... I like-a to mock cheap horror movies...

Falcon: (walks up to Luigi; saddened) Hey Luigi... (starts bawling 3 seconds after saying hi)

Luigi: NOW what the hell is-a matter with you?

Falcon: Most likely one of the **stupidest** mistakes in all the world! 

Luigi: (interested) I'm-a listening...

Falcon:  I asked Samus to marry me. (Luigi is shocked) When she smiled, I thought she was accepting it. Then she started giggling, and then laughing, and then--

Luigi: When did you finally get the picture that she let you down harshly!?

Falcon: (crying more so) WHEN SHE WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!! SHE'S SUCH A BITCH!

Luigi: I... don't know what to say. Oh wait, I-a do: YOU'RE AN IDIOT, FALCON!!

Falcon: (depressed) That's what she said, too. But, as someone told me, time heals all wounds... (better) Hey! That person was right! I won't give in! I WON'T GIVE UP!!

Luigi: That's-a good. 

Falcon: (looking at Luigi) What are you doing?

Luigi: I'm-a bored. There's nothing to do in this place.

Falcon: I know! (sees those dirty Cheep-Cheeps) That's it! IT'S GO TIME!

(Falcon jumps into the water, and starts to maul the damned fish, yadda yadda yadda, he's the victor)

Falcon: (carrying those damned fishes on his back) Hehehe... I win... and now, you die! (Note: the Cheep-Cheeps are still trying to breathe for water; he bites one of the fish's heads off)

Luigi: Okay! That's-a sick!

--

DK: (seeing bananas on sale; walks over to it) *ape noise*

Tanuki [raccoon dog] attendant: That will be one gold coin, please.

DK: *ape noise* (hands over the blue coin the Yoshis earned) 

Tanuki attendant: Lucky you! That's a lot of change. (forks over bananas and 50 coins)

Yoshi: Yoshi! [Sweet!]

Delfino Isle Yoshi: (looking out at the water; confident) Yosh... Yo yoshi! [It's time... to face my fear!] 

Peach: (seeing the D.I. Yoshi going to jump; gasps) YOSHI! NO!

Yoshi: Wha? [What?]

(The Delfino Isle Yoshi jumps bravely into the water, and... disintegrates. Harsh)

Mario: OH NO! YOSHI! YOU GAVE-A UP YOUR LIFE, WITHOUT LIVING 

TO-A THE FULLEST!

Yoshi: (a bit confused) Yo, Yoshi... [Um, I'm over here...]

Bowser: HE MEANT THE NON-ABLE-TO-SURVIVE-IN-WATER YOSHI!

Yoshi: YOSH! [OH!] (saddened) WHA!? [NO!!]

Marth: Um, guys... (points to a Yoshi egg craving bananas) He's just been reborn into an egg once again.

Mario: OH! Well, I'm-a not in the mood to bring him back again, so we'll-a take the egg, but not bring him to life yet.

Peach: Isn't that torturing it, Mario?

Bowser: Most likely not.

Marth: (carrying egg) This hurts my back...

--

Roy: I wonder what's going to happen today? (finger on chin thinking) First was a crazy roller coaster, then possessed Piantas, and now what?

Popo: Probably killer squids.

Link: Or giant sea serpents.

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep ding ring bing deep meep ring . [Or Ganondorf might actually ravage this happy place.]

Zelda: (laughing) Yeah right. Like **he'll** be able to destroy an entire happy place!

(The Ice Climbers and Mr. Game and Watch are laughing along with Zelda. Suddenly, a strange cloaked being bumps into them. The only visible thing about this person is the large trench coat, and green alien feet. It's as tall as 3 Links standing on each other's shoulders)

Being: (strange distorted tone) Um, excuse me. 

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep ring... beep. [It's okay... freak.]

Being: (angry) YOU HAVE INSULTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!

Roy: Actually my friend, this is the first--

Being: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! NOW YOU DIE!!   
  
(The cloaked figure reveals himself to be an Elite Pirate [Metroid Prime], with Plasma weapons drawn and all; Three Space Pirates fall beside him)

Space Pirate A: Way to blow our cover.

Space Pirate B: Our pay and rations will be cut by approximately 35%!

Elite Pirate: THEY WILL DIE!!

Roy: Well, crap...

(Mr. Game and Watch opens the attack with some sausages. It is absorbed by the Elite Pirate [Mr. Game and Watch: MEEP!? [WHAT!?]] and creates a electric ground shockwave. Everyone is shocked... including the other three Space Pirates.

GMS: Sad...)

Space Pirate A: OOOWWW!!!

Link: JESUS! IT BURNS!

Nana: I got electrical ouchies!

Popo: Ditto.

Roy: (sarcastic) Way to go, Mr. Game and Watch!

Zelda: OH MY GOD! THEY'RE ON ME!! (said pirates were already smothering her, when a sudden explosion sends the pirates away)

Link: OH NO, ZELDA! (something taps his shoulder; it is Zelda) What the!?

Roy: How did you--

Zelda: I was able to use my Sheik UP+B move in this form. I'm working on using--

Mr. Game and Watch: BEEP FUCK BEEP DING!!! [GOD FUCK HELP ME!!!] (is getting stepped upon by the Elite Pirate)

Popo: Mr. Game and Watch said his first actual word!

Space Pirate C: Now you DIE!! (raining energy blasts upon Link's group)

Roy: I'll handle these things! (dashes past the blasts and slashes the Pirates into submission)

Space Pirate B: We'll be back! (get teleported)

Elite Pirate: BE WITH YOU GUYS IN A MINUTE! (feels a liquid crystal man moving underneath him)

Mr. Game and Watch: (getting 2-D face crushed) Meep beep ding... [Must do this...] (pulls off a Judgment) BIIIIIIIING!! [JUDGMENT 9!!] 

(That's right: the Judgment number that sends opponents flying works also on Elite Pirates; sends him flying and hits the water... right before it explodes)

Popo: (tears filling) Was that right??

(Mr. Game and Watch shrugs)

--

Kirby: GET BACK! (He kicks some space pirates away from them. Apparently, they were near the gelato stand [Samus had to calm down a bit after getting Thunder-ed], when all of a sudden, 5 Plasma troopers came at them.

Note: Plasma Troopers are Space Pirates that are immune to all of Samus's beam weapons... except for the Plasma Beam. For being so damn intelligent, they lack a **lot** of common sense.)

Plasma Trooper A: What did that note say? 

Young Link: It says for you to die! (stabs him with a fiery arrow)

Plasma Trooper A: YAH!! It BURNS!! 

Ness: Crap... we're surrounded... 

(Ness is right. [Ness: Thank you.] The children, Kirby, and the other two Pokemon are surrounded by Plasma Troopers. Wait a minute... where's Samus? And where's Jigglypuff?)

Samus: (returning with gelato in hand) Hey gu-- (sees space pirates; irritated) Oh fuck. Not you damn freaks again!

Plasma Trooper D: It's the Hunter! We kill her now!

Plasma Trooper B: Wait! I'm new here! (looking at Samus strangely) Is that really **the** Hunter?

Plasma Trooper C: She may be just a dumb blond with no intelligence, but she's craftily killed many of our comrades through sheer strength! (What did I tell you: No common sense)__

Plasma Trooper B: (scared) I BELIEVE YOU!!

Plasma Trooper E: (panicking) SHE HAS A GUN ON US!!

(The Troopers see Samus, equipped with her arm cannon, sets it on Plasma Beam, and uses her Flamethrower to char them; ouchies indeed)

Plasma Trooper A: We are still alive! (contemplating on shit instead of actually firing on them) Though 40% of us have suffered 2nd degree burns--(gets fireball-charged by Kirby; dies)

Plasma Trooper C:  I may as well go out in a blaze of glory! (gets PK Fired by Ness and Fire Arrowed by Ness and Young Link; dies as well with Plasma Trooper B)

Plasma Trooper D: I--(gets Plasma Beamed by Samus; poor guy)

(The final Plasma Trooper calls upon a jet pack, which picks him up, and tries to take him away, but...)

Pichu: PI! [READY!]

Pikachu: PI KA!! [GO!!]

(They both do a Thunder attack, and destroy the jet pack; the Trooper goes psycho as he tries to plummet himself towards his target: Samus)

Plasma Trooper E: (PSYCHO VOICE)YOU HAVE NO ARMOR TO PROTECT YOU, HUNTER!! NOW YOU DIE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(It almost looks like he succeeded, but too bad; Ness pushed Samus out of the way, and he took the explosion with full force. He gets hurled a good force)

Pikachu: PIKA KA! [NESS!] (runs off to Ness)

Young Link: DUDE! (same as Pikachu)

Samus: NESS! 

--

Luigi: Great! This is-a just great! We're going to-a suffer great harshness!

(You guessed it; pirates! A Phazon Elite to be precise!

Note: Phazon Elites are Elite Pirates that are infused with **lots** of Phazon. Enough said.)

Phazon Elite: DIE!! (ground shockwaves the entire area and Jigglypuff; said balloon Pokemon is shocked)

Falcon: Before you kill us and eat our bones--

Luigi: They-a do that?

Falcon: I may want to ask you this; (getting ready for a really technical Physics question) What is the total displacement of a man, preferably the hot and sex-tacular Captain Douglas Jay Falcon, traveling North at 16 m, then traveling 10 m West, hotshot fucker?

Phazon Elite: (acting like a cocky fuck) YOU THINK I'M A MORON, DON'T YOU? (speaking all technical and stuff; pulls out a whiteboard) You see, since the two given distances are not in between said dimensions, like North of West, they form two straight lines, which can then be solved by means of the Pythagorean Theorem. 10 squared + 16 squared = displacement squared. 

Falcon: (to himself) What have I done?

Luigi: (tired) This is why I didn't take Physics. Which is-a why I have a deadbeat job. Oh well. Good night. (sleeps)

Phazon Elite: 356 = displacement squared. Square root both sides. Displacement is approximately 19 m West of North! Any questions? No? Now, (acting the way he should) YOU DIE!! (gets rested by Jigglypuff; explodes)

Falcon: Praise the lord! Hallelujah!

Luigi: (suddenly back up; slaps Falcon) Shut up, Falcon!

Jigglypuff: (wakes up) Puff? Jiggly jigg jigg? [Huh? Oh, are you okay?]

--

Mario: C'mon! (slaps a Space Pirate out of the way) We've-a no time to waste!

Marth: These buggers are everywhere!!

(As Marth is saying that, DK punches a pirate that was going to cut the Prince of Altea; after saying thanks, Marth impales a Shadow Pirate [Shadow Pirate: I'm a Space Pirate with cloaking technology that can't fire weapons.] about to stab said ape.)

Peach: Look! There's Samus and the others! 

Bowser: Well, isn't that obvious!

(The Mario group, Link group and, I guess the Captain Falcon group, rush to where the Pirates decimated the poor Ness and company. It was a big explosion)

Luigi: HOLY-A SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!?

Pikachu: (sad) Pika chu pi chu... pi chu ka pi ka. [Space Pirates attacked... and really hurt Ness.]

Mewtwo: (from left field) Don't worry. He's not dead. A bit knocked out, but otherwise, still alive.

Samus: It was all because he wanted to save me...

Falcon: **Now** do you see how people will intentionally throw their own life away for the person(s) they love?

Samus: (shocked) Love!?

Bowser: (looking up) Now, who would want to kill us?


	6. Smash Mansion, new charas, & NessSamus

Subspace Rising (formerly Delfino MAYHEM!)

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own "Smash Bros." license. But I do own this fic. All characters belong to their respectful creators.

--

It appears that things have taken a turn for the worst...

GMS: So a new story will be crafted in tune with Brawl.

Thanks, I figured that. Oh, this story is BACK, BABY!

--

(Inside the Smash Air Cruiser, the Melee cast have decided to cut their vacation short, due to both the Space Pirates attacking, and the resident human psychic, Ness, becoming incapacitated during the fight in order to protect Samus, whose feelings she has realized thanks to Captain Falcon's words.)

Samus: (Zero Suit, brooding) Why...?

Mewtwo: (Mentally outloud) Samus, there is no more brooding to be done here. A great force has tried to attack us, and because of it, Ness is out of commission for the time being.

Samus: But... he did it to save me...

Mewtwo: (nods) That he did. He's a brave young man, standing up to such an attack.

Bowser: (bashes his fist hard into the armrest of his seat, angry) ARRRGH! This still doesn't add up! (roars in irritation) Who would send those lousy Space Pirates after us? Did they honestly _think_ they could take ALL of us?

Captain Falcon: (unmasked, cleaning his helmet) That's not really the point here, Mr. Spiky Scales. How did they know to attack us at that point? While we had our guard down?

Luigi: (not crazy) Excuse-a me. You might-a think we had-a our guard down, but even with that-a 'surprise attack', they still-a fell to our-a combined might!

Captain Falcon: (brown eyes looking back at a stabilized Ness) Yes, but if you haven't noticed, we're one guy short now... I still can't believe Ness hasn't woken up yet.

Samus: (uncharacteristic gloom) I'm the one responsible for his condition...

Roy: Hey! (slaps Samus across her cheek, netting a gasp from Bowser, Falcon, and Luigi; chiding) There's no acting like an emo here! It doesn't matter how Ness was beaten, or how he came to be injured like this, but the worse you can do now is just give up and act all bitter and low, like you won't even try anymore! That's NOT how we do things here, Samus Aran!

Samus: Roy...

Roy: Or do you have to think about how you were so powerless when the Pirates attacked your own home, killing off your family--(gets decked by Samus's fist)

Samus: (murderous) How _DARE_ you even bring up my parents--

Mewtwo: (loud) Enough! (Mewtwo vibrated his voice through Samus and Roy's minds, as if zapping their brains and halting their moves. This also hits Luigi)

Luigi: What?--AUGH! MY BRAIN!! (slightly crazy tinge) You made-a the purple Lumas come-a back--

Mewtwo: (To Samus) Samus, you will calm yourself now. (To Roy, with glowing eyes) Roy, you KNOW that's a low blow for Samus. She was only an infant.

Samus: (hateful) His funeral... And YOURS as well if you keep invading my thoughts--

Mewtwo: **Irregardless**, It's not just Samus, or Ness's condition. The others are just in as much a state of shock about this as the rest of you!

Bowser: (scoff) Hmph. Really, I don't see why their holding this 'meeting'. This is a problem we can handle ourselves, right?

Captain Falcon: No. Not anymore. (Bowser perks his eyebrow) This has become a threat not only to us, but to the very worlds we all call home. Given the fact that this mystery evil sent the Space Pirates to terrorize Delfino Isle, that means it can send ANY evil force out _anywhere_, at _any_ given time.

(The minds of those in this part of the Smash Air Cruiser were suddenly occupied with thoughts of evil, terrorizing their homes, their worlds, their very universes. One thing was on everyone's minds.)

Bowser: (stands up defiantly, roaring loudly) Whoever these punks are, they're not gonna take over MY kingdom!

Roy: Good for you, my comrade in arms! Our resolve will not falter!

Luigi: Just-a promise that you won't-a sing the Fire Emblem-a song!

Roy: Hey! It's a good song! Filled with determination and fighting spirit!

Luigi: And if you say it's-a good song, then that's just like-a saying that you-a must-a be gay with Marth!

Roy: (screams in frustration) Why does everyone think that?! I'm not gay with Marth!

Samus: Blame the lousy fangirls.

Bowser: You call that a SCREAM, _ROY_?!

(This 'discussion' was interrupted when the elder Mario brother walked in.)

Mario: Guys, we're-a getting close to our-a home base.

Captain Falcon: (sighs) Ah, good ol' Smash Mansion.

I'm guessing it's a written rule that the characters all live in a mansion or estate of sorts, lol, so who am I to change things?

Mario: Because of-a the situation, we have-a decided to bring in some-a new recruits!

(A resounding "What??" was from the majority of the Smashers inside this area of the plane)

Mario: A few of-a them are awaiting us back at-a the Mansion. We'll just have to-a wait for our opponents now to make-a their next move, so until then, we're-a just-a relaxing.

Luigi: (sarcastic) Ooh, good-a FUCKING idea, big brother! We wait-a for-a the end of-a the world to interrupt us from-a the R&-a-R!

Mario: (right up to Luigi's face) HEY, What's-a-matter-with-a-you?!

Roy: (ignoring Mario and Luigi's childish scuffle; wondering) There's nothing we can do before these guys strike?

Mewtwo: We know nothing about them, and neither do the others. It would be pointless to try to coax them out if we know naught of what they're gonna do.

Mr. Game and Watch: (announcing from the pilot's box) Beep beep bip bip beeeoooop [Everyone sit back and hang on tightly!) (static) Beeeeoop Blip beep beep beep [We're coming in for a landing!)

--

(At the runway, four people were waiting on the sidelines, waiting for the plane to come down.)

Wario: (throws his fists up in the air) I don't believe this! I could be making MILLIONS right now by marketing my games, instead of waiting for that LOSER, and his LOSER friends, with THESE losers! (gets startled slightly by a giant broadsword breaking runway next to himself)

Ike: I dare you to say that word one more time. Really, I dare you to.

Wario: MWAHAHAHA! What are you going to do about it, huh?

Ike: (glares) I'll cleave you in two, you fat fool.

Pit: (stands between Ike and Wario) My friends, we are all on the same side. We have no time to bicker amongst ourselves. A considerable threat looms on the horizon, and we instead pick fights in our own ranks!"

Ike: Hmph. I apologize for that outburst. Just keep Garlic McStanks away from me.

Wario: (anger) WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT MY GARLIC?!

Pit: (pinches his temple in irritance) Oh almighty Palutena, give me strength...

Diddy Kong: (jumping up and down, pointing in the sky) [shrieking monkey noises)

Wario: (confused) What's his shit?

Pit: A plane's coming in! I think that's them!

Ike: If that's a plane... (concerned, and starting to back away from the runway) Why are its engines lit in flames??

Diddy Kong[shrieking monkey noises x2)

(And with that, Pit, Ike, and Diddy Kong motor right out of there; Wario tries being fancy by getting his motorcycle out and riding it to safety... too bad he gets sent skyrocketing into the stratosphere)

Wario: WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyy--(ding)

(And from the crashed plane, the door is burst open, with the heroic Donkey Kong leaping out first... or that's what he would have done if he hadn't enjoyed going down the emergency evacuation slide.)

Diddy Kong: (giddy) [excited monkey noises)

Donkey Kong: (turns around to see Diddy) [overjoyed ape sounds)

Zelda: (next one out) And there's a second ape; well that's just fantastic.

Link: (slides down as well, not noticing Pikachu, Kirby, Young Link, Falco, Fox, and Marth sliding down as well) And to think; humans supposedly evolved from _them_!

(And now to interrupt this, we now have Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong doing some kind of weird, ritualized determination dance, where they slap each other's hands, butt butts, high five with low fives, do some kind of 'giddy finger motion', and ending with a grand finale that somehow caused Ganondorf to burst into flames--)

Ganondorf: AUUGH! Why won't you _ever _let me ravage happy places?!?!

(--the dream team of Donkey and Diddy are back!)

Donkey Kong[ape noises)--banana smoothie that's so nice and creamy that you HAVE to eat with a spoon! (astonished) Hey! I got my language back!

Diddy Kong: You could speak their--COOL! I can too!

Fox: (unamused) And they can talk now. That's just super.

Donkey Kong: That reminds me, Fox ol' buddy... (walks up to Fox and Giant Punches him in the face) That's for dissin' my voice! Fuck you, furry!

Fox: (ignoring his bleeding face, giving DK the 'unhappy finger') Up yours, poop tosser!

Mario: (choosing to ignore Fox and Donkey Kong renewing their hatefulness) Okay, well that was-a smooth landing, and now that we're-a--(quickly dodges a falling Wario) Oh don't-a tell me they hired you too?

Wario: (correcting his busted nose) Yeah, with LOTS of moneys!

Pit (running up to Mario, Luigi, Wario, Pikachu, Kirby, and Bowser): Mr. Mario! Is everyone okay? What happened to the plane? Was it enemy forces?

Bowser: Nope. Mewtwo thought it would be funny to jam a flock of seagulls into the jet's engines.

Mewtwo: (teleports in) That's why I never indulge in my sense of humor.

Kirby: Or indulge in your sense of physically fighting, either.

Mewtwo: (vein in his forehead) My psychic abilities are far superior compared to my physical prowess. That won't stop me, however, from giving you a hard shot to the face with my mighty hand!

Kirby: (goading) Oh yeah, try it! Come on, just try it!

Samus: (loud) MOVE IT! COMING THROUGH!

(The eight of them move aside as Samus, Peach, and Jigglypuff take a medical hearse, with Ness resting on it, all the way to the Infirmary.)

Pit: Was he one of ours?

Mario: (nods) Yep. He got-a wounded during our-a vacation.

Wario: Well, that sounds like one HELL of a vacation! MWAHAHAHA--(smacked upside the head by Luigi)

Luigi: Compose-a yourself, you-a rotund fuck.

Mr. Game and Watch: (skids in) Beep MEEP meep meep beebop beep beep[What's WITH all the hate going on around here?!

Ganondorf: (slightly charred) Oh, that's pretty easy to get.

Pit: (astounded) You _knew_ what it said?

Ganondorf: Yeah... you spend a good eternity stuck with these things--

Pikachu: PIKA [THINGS?!)

Mr. Game and Watch: BEEEEEEP [THINGS?!)

Yoshi: WAAAA [TURKEY??!)

Ganondorf: And you become attuned to what their weird languages mean. (turns to Pikachu) And yes you are! (turns to Game and Watch) Yes YOU are! (turns to Yoshi) And you're a moron, you raptor wannabe!

Mario: Hey! Don't-a diss my imitation-a raptor!

Yoshi: (insulted) Yoooshi... [Asshole...)

Pit: (sweat drop) Well, it looks like I'm gonna have a swell time with you guys.

Luigi: (walking ahead, with his arm around Pit) Don't-a worry, my-a new best friend. We'll-a get along JUST fine!

Pit: (thoughts) Oh almighty Palutena, watch over me...

Ike: (walks up to Roy and Marth) I've heard a great deal of the both of you, Prince Marth and General Roy.

Marth: I remember recalling your face somewhere... Aren't you that mercenary Ike?

Ike: That is correct. I have also heard about both of your heroic exploits. And I find it very admirable and respectable!

Roy: Hey thanks!

Ike: (proud) Yes, your determination and unwavering, manly loyalty to each other is a constant--

Marth: What are you talking about--(shock) WE'RE NOT GAY, IKE!

Ike: ... Really? (looks the other way) Boy, the fan club won't like this horrifying news.

Marth: ... (glares) I don't like you... (envelops himself with his cape and walks away)

Roy: Aw, don't let ol' Marthy Marth get to ya, Ikey. We'll get along just--

Ike: Don't ever call me Ikey, Roy. (unsheathes his giant sword) Unless you want to take a round with me?

Roy: Um... maybe later, but let's get inside for now. I'll show you the new quarters.

Fox: (rushing up to Mario) Hey, plumber! Ness needs a doctor to see him right now!

Mario: (all determined) Very well...

(With a throw-off of his clothes, Mario becomes...)

Luigi: (horrified) OH GOD!!

Mewtwo: (horrified shock) ...If only I could stab my own eyes out right now with my mind...

Ganondorf: (laughing his ass off) MWAHAHAHA! OH MY--HAHAHA-YOU **SUCK** SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!

Mario: (confused) Huh? (looks down; is covered only by a black censor bar) WAAAAH!!

Bowser: (tastefully turned the other way) Good thing I'm not caring about this situation... although I so WANT to mock him, but that would require _looking_ at him... which I just CAN'T allow myself to do... (motors along the ground towards the mansion) WAIT UP!

Mario: (wraps the black censor bar as a makeshift towel) Meh... I got-a the spare doctor clothes inside. Let's go!

Wario: Man... and I thought **I** was the weird one!

--

(Inside the Mansion, our Smashers, including the four new recruits, are lazing around the VERY spacious Lounge, watching American Idol, with Luigi laughing VERY outloud at his good pal, Bandit Keith, singing the Team America: World Police theme. Everyone else backed away from the cackling Luigi. Meanwhile, Mewtwo, Peach, Samus, and Mario (in his doctor garb), were analyzing Ness, looking over his statistics.)

Mario: Hmm... C'mon-a Ness... try to reach us...

Samus: How will that help?

Mewtwo: Except for his PSI Magnet, PK Fire, and PK Thunder, Ness is naturally a healer.

Peach: (in awe) A healer?

Mario: (annoyed) And you started-a talking again. (gets slapped by Peach)

Mewtwo: That is correct. I found this out one day, and he told me that his friend Paula taught him those attack spells, but otherwise, Ness was responsible for restoring the health of his friends during his adventure.

Peach: For a healer, he really hurts.

Mewtwo: Naturally, his healing technique, the PSI Lifeup, was locked away from his repetroire while he was amongst us by Master Hand himself. Because a foe who could always heal himself in the brink of defeat would be near-impossible to defeat.

Mario: Not to-a mention that he could just-a heal himself while his HP tumblers kept-a plummeting.

Mewtwo: (confused) Now you're just breaking the fourth wall here, Mario.

Samus: If what you guys are saying makes ANY kind of conceivable sense, then what you want us to try, is to make Ness subconsciously use his healing technique on himself?

Mewtwo: Precisely, although it's not as easy as it sounds. Master Hand was the one who locked his healing skills, and more than likely, only he can undo the lock on our comrade. (deep) If only the Master Hand was still with us... (annoyed) if only he wasn't vacationing in the _Melty Molten Galaxy_...

(And cue to the giant white hand enjoying himself, riding the lava torrents of the lava galaxy from Super Mario Galaxy.)

Samus: Mewtwo, perhaps _you_ can try breaking the lock on Ness?

Mewtwo: (to Samus) It's not that easy. The last time I tried to break one of Master Hand's spell locks, which was on a jar of Mew-shaped cookies that I wanted to eat, I failed to open it, AND it opened up a portal that unleashed a Dark Pulse on me...

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep beeeep MEEP [Super effective damage!)

Mewtwo: (eyes glowing yellow; ghetto) UP YOS, FOO'!

(Mr. Game and Watch pulls out his bucket in anticipation of one of Mewtwo's special moves. With a wave of Mewtwo's hand, he fires a fast wave of energy, knocking the liquid mercury man straight out, as well as cleaving the big, comfy sofa in half)

Bowser: (on the floor and on his back) Oh great, NOW I'm upside down! (Marth helps him up)

Mewtwo: (proud) Psycho Cut. An example of my physical strength.

Samus: Enough gloating! Can you do it, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: (smirking) Hmm, eager to be reunited with your _special one_, Samus? (smirk becomes a smile at her infuriated blush)

Mario: (annoyed) Oh don't-a you speak-a like-a the Rosalina!

Mewtwo: Nevertheless, I will give it a shot.

(With this, the Psychic Pokemon closed his eyes, and began glowing a blue aura. The aura then enveloped Ness, some random objects in the room, and Ike's Aether sword.)

Ike: HEY! That sword is not yours!

Mewtwo: I am only borrowing this for a moment, human!

(An angry-looking hand spirit flew out of the Onett boy's head, and was cackling all over the room.)

Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (panicking like a fuck) GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST--(gets backhanded by Donkey Kong and Roy)

Donkey Kong and Roy: SHUT UP!!!

(The hand spirit starts firing lasers all over the place, making everyone take cover behind something that can't exactly be lasered.)

Mewtwo: (spinning Ike's sword around his body; directing his 'voice' to Wario) Distract that hand.

Wario: Hey! Who are you?! The boss of me?! I'M NOT DOING IT--(dodges a laser coming his way) WAAAAH! (starts running around)

Pit: Hey, look! (waves his bow, and fires an arrow through the hand) Over here!

Zelda: What the? (notices a spiritual chain between Ness's head and the hand) There's a link there!

Link: Huh? I'm over here!

Zelda: Not what I meant, hero!

Link: (rude) Hey, excuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! (dodges a laser) OH JEEZ!

Mewtwo: I see it! (His glowing body launches the Aether sword, severing the link and banishing the seal from this dimensional plane)

Wario: (unmoved by it's stupid-sounding death) Meh, I've seen worse.

(Unfortunately, the side-effect of banishing the seal takes effect, opening a large set of dark fangs digging right into Mewtwo's sides, letting loose a pained scream!)

Mario: MEWTWO!!

Samus: (catches the falling Mewtwo) Are you alright? Mewtwo??

Mewtwo: Damn... that's one strong Crunch...

Ganondorf: Bah. Walk it off, pussy--(gets a chair flung into his head) OW! Try again!

Mewtwo: Not... funny... (breathes hard, then faints)

Pikachu: PIIIIIIKA[MEWWWWTWO!!)

(Suddenly, a warming pulse of energy went through Mewtwo's body, removing any damage down to him. Everyone turns around to see Ness, sitting up and channeling a technique through to the Pokemon.)

Ness: (focused) Come on... PSI Lifeup Gamma! (sends another charge of life energy to Mewtwo, bringing him back from his faint condition; tired) Phew... I'm pooped... (is suddenly glomped by Pichu, Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Young Link, and Diddy Kong) H-hey guys! I **know **I don't know ONE of you here! And I'm STILL pissed at another one of you guys!

Diddy Kong: OOK! Guilty!

Young Link: Yeah, and up yours, Ness!

Captain Falcon: Heh! We thought we lost ya, little man!

Mewtwo: (getting up on his feet) Well, it worked, for once. We were able to remove the limiter on Ness's ability to use healing abilities. It should prove useful to us in the future...

Mario: But importantly, it is-a starting to get-a late.

Zelda: We should all get some rest, and then in the morning, we will be preparing for our battle.

Ness: (lost) Battle? What's going on?

Mr. Game and Watch: Meep bing ding meep beep bing. Beep, (yawns) meep biiiiiing beep. [We'll explain everything in the morning. Now, (yawns) it's sleeeeepy time.)

Donkey Kong: Yep. Time to hit the hay, everybody!

Falco: Hey, I got my first line in--WHAT WE'RE HEADING TO BED ALREADY?! But I got so much to talk about!

Ike: (slightly irritated) Oh, I'm gonna have fun beating on you, birdy.

--

That's technically the end of the chapter here, but here's two extra scenes: one to further boost my favorite pairing here for Smash, and one of hilarity. So enjoy! Or not; either way, review and tell me what ya think!

--

(As everyone heads out of the Lounge, Ness is about to do the same, but his hand is immediately gripped by a stronger, slender one.)

Samus: (looking down at the Onett boy) Ness...

Ness: Samus, (happy) I'm glad you're okay--(gets slapped by Samus) Ow! What's your problem?!

Samus: (fluctuating anger) Don't you ever... EVER... PUT yourself in that kind of situation again!

(Before Ness can even protest about it, Samus kneels down and holds Ness tightly. Her eyes were shut hard, trying to keep herself from acting all girly by crying and sobbing. The instant his hands held her body in turn, however, broke her down, even if just a little, with a few tears coming down her shut eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes.)

Ness: Samus... (guilty) I made you worry because of me, didn't I?

Samus: (brushing her eyes) D-don't be ridiculous, boy... (sighs) but then again, I can't exactly hide that from someone who can read minds... (feels a nod from Ness) Heh... I guess Mewtwo was right when he called you my _special one_.

Ness: (blushing madly) So you do like me, then?

Samus: But I can't! (feeling the tears coming again) Because... because of that Paula girl, and the fact you're still a child, and we're completely different people!

(Her tears suddenly stopped, when his hand pressed against her cheek, and she felt a shot of energy course through her.)

Ness: (looking into a confused Samus's eyes) PSI Healing. Good for curing crying, amongst other things.

(A shy smirk crawled up her lips, as she planted her hands on Ness's shoulders, and kissed him. His face beyond crimson, he kissed back, feeling the warm feeling course through them both.)

--

Roy: Okay, fur bag, let me in first!

Donkey Kong: No way! I'm in first!

(Roy and Donkey Kong are pushing each other, and even close to battling each other, to see who gets to use the bathroom first)

Roy: Let me in, Kong, or I'll skin you and wear a gorilla chest vest!!

Donkey Kong: Try that, and I'll rip your pretty hair off and use it to get all the ladies while you suffer with unpopularity! Oh wait, you already DO!

Roy and Donkey Kong: (scuffling) RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE--

Captain Falcon: (kicks his door down; rage) I'M **NOT** PUTTING UP WITH YOU TWO AND YOUR ARGUINGS! (his fists are burning red!) Time to end teen pregnancies!! FALCOOOOOON...

Roy and Donkey Kong: ... CRAP!

Captain Falcon: PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!

(Commence pain)

--

NOW it's the end... PEACE OUT until the next chapter!


End file.
